Everything the Stranger Saw

From tomorrow, Muslims all over the world will start celebrating the second of their two annual festivals, Eid-ul-Azha. A ritual of sacrifice; where animals preferably goats, lambs and cows are slaughtered in the memory of an ancient sacrifice of Ismael (Isaac in christian tradition) by Abraham, satirized and mocked here by Mitchell and Webb. Apparently, God replaced Ismael just in time with a sheep and so the sacrifice of four-legged animals is repeated annually to remind them (Muslims, not four-legged animals.. Although the distinction is a difficult one to make) of the passionate zeal of Abraham that even let him get over fatherly love. Things might have been different if Ismael would have been sacrificed that day. Anyway, presently, this could be quite a lesson in fanaticism and dogma. But that's for another day.


What's so incredibly worth writing about is that in this country of mine, the already impoverished order of things is pushed into further disruption by this whole fiasco of a festival. Plain barbarianism, I say, and I'm not even averse to the slaughter of animals.! I, for one, am not a strict vegetarian. I eat meat; would love to continue to do so, rather unapologetically (on the other hand, I do respect vegetarians for their amazing control and discipline). See, I have heard that in some other countries, they have "Slaughterhouses", you go and pay them, they'll slaughter the animals, distribute the meat amongst the poor and the needy (as is required by the so-called Islamic rule) and give you your share of the meat. But, no, we are too unsure of a good procedure so what we do is buy the animal straight from an animal fair, bring it to our houses where we keep it for a few days before Eid, then when the slaughter is due, we go and fetch the butcher, who brings his knives, slays the animal in our front porch or garage or in the street and skins it and then hangs the animal to let whatever that's supposed to happen, happen and then makes the meat right there! Piece by bloody piece! Now that is primitive to say the least. It is also insanely preposterous!

Needless to say, I have not found an ounce of the so-called spirit of sacrifice in the way this stupid ritual is performed in Pakistan. Hundreds of thousands of rupees could be put to a much better use. But, no, we have to kill poor animals in the freezing cold of winter and then have massive barbecue parties in our lawns and parks for the next whole month. Rent some deep-freezers, people, meat is on its way! And what about the skin of the animals. Generously donated to the fucking Jamaat-e islami and all those banned militant jehadi outfits from Southern Punjab so that they can sell them to the tanneries and further fund their operations and kill people from this money indirectly generated from killing, well, animals. A vicious cycle come round.

It is quite ridiculous. The bloodbath, the intestines lying on the pavements. No fucking civic sense. The heaps of professional beggars lining the doors of these well to do homes turned slaughterhouses (zibhakhanas, really!)

And then all sorts of idiotic entertainment stems from this farce. For example, what the fuck is this supposed to mean! Who are these people, and ordinary Muslims would actually trust this. Say wow! that's a reasonable price for such a strong, heavy bakra. Let's buy this and get it delivered via the Daewoo Bus Service to our city! Sure, very convenient!

and this

and this
Hilarious even if photoshopped!