Cows on top
When Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay finally managed to reach the top of the Mount Everest, they found a cow sitting there before them. Hillary couldn't believe his eyes and thought that maybe he was hallucinating after the gruelling climb. But, when the cow walked up to them and, after inspecting Hillary from head to toe, winked at Norgay who replied with a pat on its forehead, Hillary could not come to terms with this reality and almost choked on his "wtf" and could've literally been both the first man living and dead, on top of the Mount Everest. The cow stared at him for a while, then made a sarcastic face and uttered a mocking "moo". Norgay, who was classically trained in Cow, turned to Hillary and translated: "Sir, she's saying 'Suck on my udders, bitch!'"
Well, Hillary and Norgay might deny this encounter but I'm pretty sure it happened this way... Ok, ok! I wish!
Because everytime I've gone hiking or trekking along the northern regions of Pakistan, I have found them cows at the weirdest of heights. You know hiking is not easy for a fat, slouchy git like me and then, there are those slopes that you die climbing, sweating in your undies and all, and when you finally reach to the top, two things happen:
1. You see another even-more-steep incline straight ahead
2. You see cows.
Now, the first part can be forgiven because Mother Nature didn't create those steep mountains expecting overweight tourists to come one day, bouncing gleefully with their fancy cameras going tik tik tik everywhere, and exclaim "oh my gaawwwd, it's so bootyfulll" and then kill themselves while climbing the slopes that initially looked like a 'piece of cake' to their delusional selves. But what about the second part?
C.O.W.S.
It's like the omnipresent cows are there to rub it in for all of us out of shape, unhealthy, dairy-loving fatsos. They graze on the grass and then shit on it and they do it everywhere! It's a simple programming routine, really. Graze, shit, repeat.
Now, annoying as they might be, they are extremely useful for the domestic industry. Apart from the dairy products, the cow patties are burnt to power cooking stoves, so that's some indigenous energy production right there for you. No kidding. I might rant againt them but the cows don't give a shit (even though they do excrete copiously).
"Moo-yah!" they must look at us and say.
